When Melanie Merkley and her family open their home to a foster child, they’re not just welcoming a new baby—they’re embracing an entire family.
“We’re not just fostering a child; we’re fostering relationships,” she says. “Maintaining and building connections between the child and their birth parents is so critical.”
Melanie keeps in touch with birth parents by sharing special moments, like a baby’s first steps. Even after a child returns to their family, parents often send her texts, photos, and updates, and she shares milestones from her own life in return. For her, fostering is about providing ongoing support—not just during the child’s time in care, but long after they leave.
Growing up in a home where her parents fostered, Melanie developed a passion for caring for children as a teen. And with a career in child and adolescent mental health, she gained the skills needed to care for vulnerable children and youth with various needs.
Motivated by the impact she saw foster families had on children’s growth and success—and fueled by her and her husband Ron’s love for babies—the couple reached out to The Children’s Aid Society of Ottawa to begin the process of becoming foster parents. That was 13 years ago, and since then, they’ve fostered 23 children.
Even with extensive fostering experience, Melanie admits there are certain unknowns that come with welcoming a new child into your family.
“You worry about how it will affect your day-to-day life, your family dynamics, and the logistics of fostering—everything from social worker visits to birth family meetings,” she said.
But for Melanie, Ron, and their children, those challenges are more than balanced by the joy and satisfaction that come from fostering. To them, the most rewarding aspect of fostering is the lasting relationships they have formed with these young children and their birth families.
“We let the parents know, ‘We’re on your team.’ It’s not a competition. We’re here to help, and when the child leaves our family, we continue to stay in touch. It’s an amazing feeling to see a family get back on their feet and know we played a role in that.”
Fostering also provides an opportunity for Melanie’s children to experience the joys and challenges of helping others. “Our kids love being foster siblings,” she says. “It gives them a sense of purpose. They really do understand that fostering is temporary, but they embrace the responsibility of welcoming a little one into our home and helping them feel loved and secure.”
One of the most common concerns prospective foster parents have, is the emotional difficulty of letting go when a foster child leaves their home. But for Melanie, the heartache is part of the process and a sign that they have given their all to each placement.
“People often say, ‘I could never foster because I’d get too attached,’ and I always respond with, ‘That’s exactly why you should do it.’ These children need attachment, love, and security. It’s not easy to say goodbye but that pain means you did something right. If it ever gets easy, that’s when we will know it’s time to retire.”
Melanie wants families considering fostering to remember one key message: “It’s not just about providing a home for a child in need. It’s about making a difference for entire families, giving kids a safe place to heal, and showing birth parents that they can overcome challenges. Fostering has changed our lives in ways we never imagined, and I truly believe anyone who feels called to it should take that first step. It’s challenging, yes—but it’s so worth it.”
If you’re interested in fostering, know that you have the potential to create lasting change not just for a child but for families who need hope and support.
Learn more about how to become a foster parent here.
